Toes of a dog and hoof of an ass

I couldn't resist that line. Apparently these two items are part of an Ancient Egyptian remedy for baldness. If that's not up your alley how about pigeon droppings, cumin, horseradish, and beet root, as recommended by the "father of medicine," Hippocrates.

All of this fairly nonsensical talk is in reference to recent news of a genetic breakthrough in the War on Baldness. Apparently some evil scientists doing some evil scientist stuff (like maybe removing "large patches of skin from the backs of mice") discovered that mice (and probably humans) have the capability to regenerate hair follicles. The secret lies in leaving the gaping wounds undressed. "The regrowth effect had probably not been identified before in humans because wounds large enough to kick-start it tended to be treated with stitches or dressings, which appeared to inhibit the formation of new follicles." Poor mice. But we can't let the innocent mouse stand in the way of our War on Baldness. In ten years when they've finally worked out proper methods for rototilling foreheads and planting hair making proteins I may be in need of treatment. If not a whole house carpeting, then maybe at least a hallway piece...